As I rushed out of the gate my handbag strap fell off my arm. My new, gorgeous, “you make my life complete” handbag; my handbag that I bought in Malaysia, so is a little hard to return.
Noooo....
But I didn’t have time for tears I was already late for my appointment. I ran back into the apartment and swapped over handbags, hurriedly explaining my distress to Husband.
“Is there anything missing from the strap that would stop us from being able to fix it?”
Husband sensed the scale of the emergency and stopped working.
“Yes, there’s a small gold bar about a cm long.”
Noooo.....
We both ran out and scanned the area CSI style but we couldn’t see it. I had dropped it on a cobblestone road and looking was making our eyes hurt. I was now really late, so I had to accept that nothing could be done - for now.
I went off to my appointment like a sulky teenager. As I started to drift into “this is typical, I treat myself to something I can’t afford and this is what happens, I can’t even take it back, life is sooo unfair, we’ll never find that gold bar...” I thought NO, I am going to use my affirmations - if they can work on energy they can work on handbags!
So off I went chanting to myself as I walked down the street. “My handbag is fixed, my handbag is fixed, my handbag is fixed...”
I got back a few hours later and thought I’d have another look for the gold bar. I still couldn’t see it. As I returned to the apartment, the window cleaner asked me what I was looking for. He said he would keep his eye out. But I had dropped it outside the apartment gate - which was nowhere near where he was working - so I didn’t give it much thought and went inside. About ten minutes later the door buzzer rang: the window cleaner had found the gold bar. I couldn’t believe it. He had gone to where he had seen me looking and clearly done a much better quality search than Husband or I! And then he had found which apartment I was in so he could return it. I was so touched; what a lovely act of kindness.
And I know this is a frivolous example but I thought it illustrated beautifully how a shift in perspective can make such a difference. If I had stayed in my negative “the world is against me” stance I would not have gone out a second time to look for the gold bar, I would not have bumped into the window cleaner, I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to explain properly to him what I was looking for (because what would be the point, the world is against me!) And the bar would not have been found. (And my life would not be complete!)
And I have been trying really hard to use this shift in perspective in everyday life to manage stress and keep my mind open to the wonderful world of healing. If I am having unhelpful thoughts I literally drown them out with affirmations:
A whiff of tiredness and I am chanting: “My body is strong and healthy and full of amazing energy.”
A touch of refurbishment stress and I am saying to myself: “I have all the time and energy I need to do everything I want to do today.” Or: “I am having a wonderful time at Ikea” (even though it is half term and full of snotty misbehaved kids.)
A sneaky self hate thought such as “yuk, I am so fed up with my jelly belly” is attacked with “I am strong, fit, slim and toned.” And if I’m really in the mood for fun I throw in “...with a gorgeous six-pack!”
It’s so easy for thoughts to spiral out of control isn’t it? A slight dip in energy and ten thoughts later I am never getting fully better; or one brat too many in Ikea and before I know it I can’t cope with this refurbishment project.
I’ve been doing affirmations consistently for about six weeks now, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my energy is continuing to improve. When I am stuck in a stress cycle I just flood it with affirmations. Sometimes it’s annoying - I just want my thoughts to work smoothly on their own. But they can be like naughty children and letting them carry on is very noisy.
And there is something about the way you say affirmations – you mentally put yourself in the situation you want to be in; you are tricking your mind. If I say to myself “don’t get stressed” my mind just picks up the word stressed. If I say to myself “I am calm and relaxed” it only has positive words to work with.
I tell you that six-pack is on its way!
Hi karen,
ReplyDeleteNot having such a good spell at the minute :-(
Must say I do notice when I feel worse I tense up! The more I tense up the more pain I get, so the more I tense up etc.... I reckon this is part of what you mean isn't it?
Don't know if I would believe myself enough to convince myself I was in a desired situation as apposed to the uncomfortable one? (I know what I'm like!) ;-)
Did you find it was something that takes practice? to be serious for once!
xxx
I am so sorry to hear that Rog.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is part of what I mean. That vicious, almost chicken and egg cycle. I think also when we are in a bad spell we then expect and look out for the symptoms - which of course can become a self full filling prophecy.
I am quite good at visualising and I find this really powerful. So if I am having an off afternoon or an off hour, to make my affirmations more believable I put the images in my head too. (For example, I like running along the beach!)
I do understand what you are saying though. It is harder to imagine feeling strong when you are wiped, or relaxed when you are in pain and so on.
The other thing I do is tap into a time when that positive feeling was a reality. I also use guided meditations. This is great if you can't quite get in the zone as someone else is leading the positive thinking and you kind of have to go along for the ride!
On days when it is tough I remind myself that this is when I need the affirmations more and I just try to stick with them, repeating them over and over like a crazy woman. (I think they are more effective if you do them out loud.) I also sometimes add in a silly voice to make it more fun - but that's just me!
And if I really can't get in the groove I just keep repeating to myself "I am OK..." and this seems to keep me calm and stop me from spiralling.
I read "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay and this really inspired me, I'm not sure if that would appeal to you?
Happy to discuss more if you want to Rog. I really hope you pick up soon - those fishes are missing you! xx